Violence has broken out, once again, among clan-based warlords in Somalia, as news spread that the musical 'Viva Forever!' was to close in June. The Band released a statement: 'We’d managed to get the Islamists to put down their weapons, with soporific schmaltz and a simple message – Spice up your life. Drought and disease were held at bay by our cast rendition of ‘Wannabe’' But with the show's closure, we’ve been left absolutely devastated…and coincidently so has Somalia’.
'It's been a tough couple years', explained the unnamed celebrity. 'I've gone from regularly appearing on TV, to regularly appearing on TV, to explain why I'm no longer on TV'.
At the launch of his new book, covering how he is no longer published, he said: 'The Internet is filled with an angry woke mob. I have to post a dozen inflammatory comments every day, just to get a reaction.
'I'm rich, white and middle-aged - where can I go to be heard these days? I literally have no platform to express myself, as I explained to my 200,000 Facebook followers.
'I've been cancelled - which is incidentally the name of my next movie'.
