41C and your Mum can still feel a draft

The UK is expected to hit gazillion degrees over the next few days but your Mum still insists on wearing slippers and hunting out the spare rug 'just in case'. While everyone else is soaking in a cold bath filled with ice, she is checking the thermostat and making a nice cup of tea.

Preparing a roast dinner, while wearing a cardigan, she seemed nonplussed that the cat had already collapsed through heat exhaustion. One scientist explained: 'The laws of thermodynamics state that heat cannot be passed from an old lady's hand to another and that absolute zero is the static temperature of her feet'.

Hands Human Old - Free photo on Pixabay

67 million people in queue to be deported to cooler Rwanda

.

Tom Cruises by air show, shows off a few mov(i)es

Receiving some endless love from delighted spectators at the Fairford Air Show, the American made maverick took to the vanilla sky in a XB-70 Valkyrie bomber.

Jerry Maguire, born on the fourth of July, said: ‘This was no magnolia walkabout, he leaped into the cocktail- pit, I mean- primed the top gun; the firm grip he took of the taps- all the right moves. Taking off, suddenly he was far and away, then it began to rain, man. It felt like days of thunder, loud as a war of the worlds. The sky went the color of money- kinda greenish? Like knight and day at the same time.’

Jack Reacher, the last Samurai in Dorking, continued: ‘In that old plane, commissioned by a rogue nation, it was a risky business. The mummys- and a few good men- had their eyes wide shut. It was like he was on a mission, impossible to be stopped. He was spinning towards the rock of ages, heading for oblivion, any fallout would cause massive collateral damage. I turned to run, but told myself: “Jack Reacher: never go back”, and kept watching. At the last second he triggered the ghost protocol and pulled up. He should have been dead, reckoning on it now. This is what separates lions for lambs- the guy’s a total legend.’

With temperatures reaching tropic, thunder was forecast at the event from mid-afternoon until the edge of tomorrow, but in the end, only a minority reported losin’ it in the heat, mainly the outsiders with nowhere to avoid the sun, according to an interview with the “vampire goth flying enthusiasts” podcast.

Star Tom Cruise Actor - Free photo on Pixabay