World’s worst boyband to re-unite for farewell gig

In a moving tribute to their former frontwoman, the abysmal boyband ‘Princes’ will reunite for one last performance.

The new frontman is the artist formerly known as Prince (of Wales). Best known for speaking to plants and an emetic line in sexy phone conversation, Charlie doesn’t sing, dance or play a musical instrument, but he’s still, somehow, the band’s most talented member.

Andy, the ‘randy’ member of the group, has returned to the fold in a move reminiscent of the final scene of The Blues Brothers. It remains to be seen whether he will welcome Illinois’ law enforcement community to the gig. Andy had left to pursue a solo career and not, as some had claimed, to evade justice and the FBI. Andy has left a trail of broken hearts across America, some of whom are now legally eligible for a driving licence.

Another returnee is Ginger Prince, who famously broke Piers Morgan’s heart when he married the beautiful Meghan. Piers Morgan maintains his belief that Meghan should be his because “I saw her first and called ‘shotgun’ “.

The band has a few other members but we can’t be arsed to recall their names.

image from pixabay

Buckingham Palace Flower Show draws huge crowds

As thousands gathered to view the flower display outside Buckingham Pakace, we went along to ask their experiences.

Ivy Benson who had travelled all the way from Birmingham told us, the last time she'd seen a flower was on her wedding day in 1960 and had almost forgotten what flowers look like, so it was a marvelous experience to see them again.

Martha Boswell said she was disappointed not to see any snowdrops in the display and Gerry Mander told us he was disappointed to see so many red roses, going on to add that it was obviously down to commie bastards taking over florists' shops.

Bill Sykes, who runs a flower stall in Victoria Station, said he wasn't particularly interested in flowers and had only come to have a look to see if it was worth his while returning after dark with his van; and King Charles, whilst admitting he found the display emotionally stiring, told our reporter he wished there was another way for the nation to express its respect and sorrow at his mother's death, because growing flowers for commercial purposes is destroying the planet.

image from pixabay

Boris threatens legal action over Lying-in-State allegations

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