Harry calls on supporters to storm royal palaces

Following the examples of Donald Trump and Jair Bolsonaro, the Duke of Sussex, who claims that his place in the Royal family 'has been stolen from him', has persuaded all his supporters to storm Britain's royal palaces in protest, and to help him regain his place within Britain's ruling elite.

The head of Britain's security, however, issued a statement assuring the public that there was nothing to fear and all necessary precautions had been taken, with thousands of police and other officials being told they could take the week-end off. 'As we expected' he said, gesturing towards the deserted road outside Buckingham Palace 'it's clear that all those who sympathise with Harry have flocked here to show their support.'

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photo: https://pixabay.com/users/viviane6276-8115285/

Hubble Telescope calls James Webb Telescope 'an attention seeking bitch'

The Hubble Telescope used to receive quite a bit attention in space circles, but now the younger, more attractive, and instantly more popular James Webb Telescope has stolen all of the limelight.

'Do you know who I am? I was, like, the biggest star ever, you know,' said Hubble in a manner which could not be described as humble. 'It's like they don't even know I exist anymore. Some think I've crashed and burned, like, in the atmosphere. It's just so... so disgusting how they go all cooey about this younger slut who has burst onto the scene and grabbed all of the attention.

'I've got style, class, panache... but that James Webb is all newfangled with a sexy pout and a wiggly bottom. It's just all about images these days, isn't it? If I had may way, I'd grab 'Jay-Wee' by the solar panels and fire that slaggy tart straight into the sun.'

Webb was contacted, but no equal or opposite reaction was forthcoming.

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photo: https://pixabay.com/users/wikiimages-1897/

Not more satellites!