Police in three counties have issued arrest warrants for Gavin Stephens of Penge after 2 AA batteries were discovered in a wheelie bin by the local refuse collection operatives in Cavendish Road at around 7:40 am on Friday.
Stephens, 35, who has a previous conviction for speeding, is believed to be on the run. Police have warned the public not to approach him, not because he is dangerous, but because he is a loud mouthed know-it-all who claims exploding batteries are nothing but a myth, and will bore the trousers off anyone who'll listen.
The recovered batteries are currently in the hands of forensic scientists who have confirmed that the batteries are AA in size and are beginning to leak that acid stuff, which could be dangerous, and, even if not, it's probably best not to lick it.
Police have erected a tent outside a house in Penge, and removed several items including a TV remote with no batteries but traces of corrosion inside.
- NewsBiscuit
- Mar 26, 2023
The BBC's re-boot of 'Till Death Us Do Part' has returned to capture the mood of Brexit and our hatred of bloody foreigners. Said one critic: ‘At a time when the UK is seeing a spike in hate crimes, it makes perfect sense to return to ambiguous comic xenophobia'.
Later this year the BBC plans to re-shooting several missing black and white episodes - although so far, they have found only the white ones. Said one smug executive: 'The wonderful thing about Alf is he could be enjoyed by everyone - liberals could see him as an 'ironic' racist figure, while the rest of us could just take him on face value'.
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