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The government has vowed to help more people kick the habit of grumbling by restricting their right to vote. From the 4th May grumblers will be turned away from polling stations if they are deemed to be voting too often.
One grumbler said: ‘It got so bad I was voting every chance I got. General elections, local elections, you name it. I was finally offered help by the government and was able to turn my life around. I’ve stopped grumbling altogether and asked my local council to put a block on my polling cards.’
If you have a problem with grumbling, you can call the National Grumbling Helpline which offers free advice and counselling. Voting – together we can beat it.
With more backbench Conservative MPs joining GB News, and Dominic Raab allegedly bullying his way into a daytime job with them, it has been decided that employees from the unbiased fact service will sit in the government back benches during PMQs.
They will act like schoolchildren, braying at the opposition and laughing at poo-poo-face name-calling, to release the presenters from the tedium of doing what the taxpayer pays them to do.
'This sounds like a pragmatic arrangement,' said a GB News spokesman, adding, 'and it should only last until the next election, anyway'.
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