Looking for that special gift which says silky M&S luxury, yet with a hint of Nazi memorabilia? Why not splash £3,000 at auction on Hitler’s wife’s lilac pants; they also come with fetching toiletries, complete with a delicate glass vial of scented cyanide.
Sadly, Hitler's own underwear is too small to wear, given that it was only designed to house a single withered testicle. Ironically the other gonad was deemed too large for conventional boxer shorts and was subsequently housed in the, purpose built, Albert Hall. One private collector explained: ‘What better way to spice up your sex life, than with some crypto-fascist lingerie? Jazz up your Secret Santa with a pair of Goebbel’s socks. Crackers shaped like doodlebugs, Xmas hats in Gestapo black. Maybe even a seasonal calendar that culminates in a thousand-year Reich?’
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- Sully
- Jun 1, 2023
In his first interview since the bestselling Ten Commandments, reclusive author God has issued clarification on the 9th Commandment.
‘Bearing false witness remains sinful, even on social media and even if the liar believes he has the moral high ground’, God told journalists.
‘This includes funny memes and made-up quotations which look as if they might have been the sort of thing which that person might have said.
‘Although if it’s for satirical effect that’s ok,' he added. ‘But if you intend people to believe in the content, repeat the message or use it as the basis for an online argument, you’re going to The Bad Place. As a rule of thumb avoid social media – if it’s worth saying, it’s worth carving into tablets of stone.'