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Reviews are in and the new Alton Tower's style ride high in the hills of Northern Pakistan has got stunning reviews from its 1st time riders. The new attraction in the remote region of Battagram, in Pakistan’s northwest, has been named 'Suspense' and it really lived up to its name. Whereas most rides of this type are over in a few minutes, 'Suspense' offered its riders literally hours and hours of adrenaline filled fun.


Speaking in an exclusive to Newsbiscuit, lucky initial rider, Shittin Miself revealed, "Unlike other theme parks, there was no queue or height restrictions for the ride. We didn't even have to strap ourselves in or anything. It was very laissez faire to be honest. I wasn't all that impressed at first but I hadn't realised what the ride involved. In fact the promotional material was very vague. And to be honest I can't read so it didn't really matter."


"So when the first cable snapped I was like 'wow' I didn't expect that. And then when the second cable snapped well that was just amazing. Then the canopy started to sway. It was brilliant. Normally these rides don't live up to the hype but we got fantastic views, a great sunset, helicopters, abseiling commandoes and then a final ride on a zip wire. Just mad. I can't wait to do it all again. Inshallah."


image from pixabay


Episode 29: Grammar Cubs, Bollard Bonking and more sodding Bears.







Comedy news from NewsBiscuit

Featuring Guests: Dan Sweryt, Sketchly & FlashArry

Host: Wrenfoe. August-Sept 2023

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/

We are also listed on Sticher, Pocket Casts, Deezer, Listen Notes, Podcast Addict & Castbox, Youtube, Spotify, Apple iPlayer Podcast, Amazon Music & Anchor




Celtic Frost's classic Dying god coming into Human flesh has been missed off the CBeebies Song Time album because of woke cancel culture warriors at the BBC.


Celtic Frost fans, known affectionally as "Frosties", have been tearfully contacting woke HQ known as the BBC to protest the omission from the popular extreme metal band.


"CF gets a depressingly low presence on Radio 2", explained Headbanger Death Blood from the Celtic Frost fan club, "Friday Night is Music Night has ignored them completely, even Sing Something Simple turned them down. When the Cbeebies album was announced it would have been a golden opportunity to introduce younger people to the gentle pleasure of extreme metal."


image from pixabay

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