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Mr. Trump had attempted to pay a measly $5.3m in federal income tax on $150m income, putting him in the same tax bracket as Al Capone or someone with a paper-round. Despite what it says on his return, the public are sceptical of Mr. Tump’s claim that he is a single mother of six living on Wisconsin trailer park.


A White House spokeswoman explained: ‘Not only is Mexico going to pay for the Wall, but Mr. Trump has discovered that it’s tax deductible He’s also registered a further $100m in hairspray, fake tan and Kenyan birth certificates. And with only 46% of the popular vote, President Trump has simply made good on the promise of ‘no representation without taxation’.’


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Updated: Aug 20, 2023

Winner: Ayeswideopen

Runners-Up:


"The Shadow Cabinet offer their opinion of Jacob Rees-Mogg." (Sinnick);


"Only a Genius can spot the three Llamas hidden in this picture in 7 seconds, can you?" (Ron Cawleyoni)





1998. Pfizer scientist working on self-raising flour accidentally drops some down his trousers and Viagra is born.


1939. Reichstag toilets blocked again. Hitler's march east in search of Polish plumber has far-reaching consequences.


1837. Queen Victoria shocks England with hard-hitting speech from throne: "There shall be no sex for the next 64 years and piano legs must be kept covered at all times".


1686. Newton becomes most hated man in England when he invents gravity, putting an end to thousands of years of carefree levitation.


1453. Ottomans besiege Constantinople to seize the city's lucrative teeth-capping franchise form the infidel (see Turkey teeth).


1066. Normans wishing to explore Africa cross Channel to England, expecting free trip to Rwanda on arrival.


44 BC. Casual Friday a big success at Roman Forum, but Caesar regrets not wearing stab vest.


4004 BC. Fundamentalist Big Bang.


14,000,000,000 BC The 'other' Big Bang (about 2pm on a Monday)



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