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Trump accidently paid $750 in tax.


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News that he paid ANY federal tax in 2016 & 2017, has shocked the markets. A spokeswoman for the IRS said: ‘This is a bit of a windfall for us. I know the Department of Education was hoping to give every student an iPad, well, I guess we can make that dream come true – if they don’t mind sharing the one iPad between 60 million kids.


The last billionaire to pay tax in the US was John. D Rockefeller, when he accidently tipped a waiter in 1916. Trump’s advisors have been asked to explain this oversight, as the only time Mr. Trump had wasted this much money before, was on entering a Twitter Spelling Bee.


In other news, his accountant has been named as a finalist for the Booker Prize for Fiction.



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German city wiped from map by Food Standards Authority


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The German city of Hamburg is reeling after being declared entirely responsible for meat products mislabelling.


'This has gone on for far too long,' announced Helmut Euler, Head Chief at the FSA. 'There is nothing more dangerous in the world than misrepresented consumables. You wouldn't believe the trouble we've had with baby food. Exhaustive tests have shown that there are virtually no babies in it whatsoever.


'It is therefore my grim duty to declare that the entire city is responsible for widespread confusion over whether hamburgers contain pork products or not. Everyone knows that a hamburger should be made using 100% cow. We have no option but to close down the city until it renames itself, changing all signs and map references to Beefburg.


'Next we are going after Brie Larson, who is less than 14% cheese.'


image form pixabay



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