- MrQ
- Sep 17, 2024
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Stung by criticisms of the inaccuracy of American marksmanship, the Secret Service has unveiled plans to dress Donald Trump as a schoolboy and leave him in a high school for a few days.
‘He wasn’t keen until we told him that there were girls at the school, and then he was all over the idea’, a spokesman said. ‘Shooters just seem more numerous inside schools and generally more accurate. We figure if we leak the name of the school, then we might all get lucky. Christ, we’ve been letting him walk slowly on golf courses surrounded by woodland – even that didn’t work.’
Picture credit: Wix AI
Critics, on the whole, have reacted negatively to the inexplicable plot, the absence of a flying scene and the sight of dismembered women. The remake sees Michael Fassbender play a bemused boy, who discovers that his Xmas pal has embarked on a grisly killing spree. Wrapping a pink scarf around an ominous-looking snowman, the boy brings the snowman to life; only for this frozen psychopath to start slaying reindeer.
Similarly, the film’s PG rating seems optimistic, given the sight of so much blood and Val Kilmer's withered snowballs. Children of a nervous disposition may a prefer a more family-friendly movie – like Jo Nesbø’s ‘Fungus the Head-hunter’, a loveable character, whose job it is to scare people…before butchering their families.
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