Iceberg sends Captain of the Titanic 'cease and desist' letter

A former Iceberg has sent a legal "cease and desist" letter to Captain Edward John Smith demanding he stop saying it 'sank the Titanic.'

Its lawyers argue the claim made repeatedly by the seafarer is 'false and defamatory', and harmed it in its journey south from the North Pole, eventually causing it to melt.

The Captain's spokesman suggested the iceberg should also write to 'hundreds of people who lost their lives' and the millions who have had to endure that bloody song by Celine Dion.

Picture credit: Wix AI

Satan is a Coeliac.

In outlawing gluten-free bread for Holy Communion, the Bishop of Rome has decreed that those with an intolerance to wheat are in pact with the devil and should be burned in a corn-based wicker man. One Bishop whose tolerance was wafer thin, said: 'The bread itself is converted to the body and blood of Christ through transubstantiation - that's also how we make sausages.'

The Vatican has long held strict rules on diet, stemming from Jesus' own adherence to the Atkins diet - avoiding carbs every 40 days and 40 nights. In the future, all babies should be baptized in a vat of Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier, rolled in flour and cooked in a traditional clay oven. ‘Only the devil would be unnecessarily fussy about doughnuts.’

www.newsbiscuit.com

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AI companies outsource work to non-synthetic, sentient meat sacks

Companies have started outsourcing Artificial Intelligence work to real people with real intelligence. This is due to the huge costs involved with running AI servers - massive electricity bills and the only cheap cooling water being mainly sewage.

Out of work artists are reluctantly hand drawing awful, unsettling, blurred images with disfigured hands to sell to AI companies, to see if they match any of the weird user requests. There is a huge, bigly market for Trump images of him doing brave and nice things because there are no real images available.

Desperate musicians are creating just-off copies of work that are incredibly polished and follow all the right harmonies and specific key changes required to be a pleasant and forgettable massive hit. For which they get paid a tiny amount of money.

And backstreet authors and underground screenwriters are furiously writing generic Christmas movies and repetitive advertisements that are bland and comforting and do not have any of that tell-tale originality or uniqueness. This hugely difficult task is slowly becoming easier, as more and more of the same stuff is just repeated.

An AI Company CEO, a distinctly unlikeable group of letters, was surprised that there were so many talented work units available, and had no idea where all these easily exploitable content providers had come from.

Picture credit: Wix AI ...yes, actual AI, and not a person...