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''Those Martian parasites never buy anything from us, and there's nothing to stop them swarming over here, stealing our jobs and selling drugs. There have already been far too many absolutely authentic genuine certified reports of their flying saucers trying to sneak into Arkansas and other great American centres of advanced technology, and spreading their perverted Martian propaganda.'



'And those corrupt, power-hungry Martians gangsters are trying to control the shipping on their canals - there are no American ships using Martian canals and this restriction has got to stop. Furthermore, If there are any valuable minerals on Mars which could be mined, they obviously belong to America and must have been stolen from us.'



'We need to stop these criminal Martian layabouts and criminals from threatening the American way of life and prosperity. What such primitive creatures need is a bit of American culture, so the sooner that backward place is covered in burger bars, cola drink factories, golf courses and hideous, massive, ostentatious multi-storey hotels, the better.'



'To give them a sense of responsibility and some sense of direction and purpose in life we need to provide them with some useful employment - well, at least, useful work. Such as picking cotton. For the right price, my mate Elon will be willing to provide suitable transport craft to bring them here to American plantations.'



'And there's no need to worry about these green creatures from cluttering up our schools, cafes or buses. There will be clearly segregated facilities for them. After all, a green colour bar is a totally different from a black colour bar, which is apparently a bad thing nowadays.'



The first ten stories are set in a fictional, utopian version of York aka Yarwick while the other five are set in York as it was in my younger days. The stories are written to entertain but also to ask you to think about ways this wonderful city could be made even better.

 

Do you live in a city you love but would like to improve? Or in a dump which is in desperate need of change? What would you do if suddenly you had the power to enhance your environment? The first ten stories in this collection should give your imagination a boost to answer these questions. Set in the author's home city on York, transformed into Yarwick, the tales have ideas for how to set your town on the road to perfection.


Bill Banks is a rough diamond who has his own ideas of how the city should be and is ready to fight anyone or anything that gets in his way.


The collection is completed with five earlier stories set in York, which attempt to give the reader a feel for the atmosphere of this unique city.




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