The WFA, the governing body of women’s football in Britain, proudly announced today that women footballers are officially now “every bit as vile as the male ones”.
“In the past, if you heard a footballer had got so drunk they’d thrown up in a cab, refused to pay for it to be cleaned up, then racially abused the police officer who arrested them, you’d have assumed it was a male player,” said spokeswoman Jessica Diesel. “Probably one who plays for Chelsea.
“But now that Sam Kerr has done all those things, no one can deny that female players have become every bit as entitled, spoiled and generally obnoxious as their male counterparts. It’s an important step towards equality in the modern game, all the more impressive as they’re doing it for much less money.
“Of course, it’s still a Chelsea player, but some things will never change.”
However, some have pointed out that parity with the male game won’t be achieved until a prominent player has an affair with another one’s wife, leading to enormous tension in the dressing room and some very explicit chants from opposing supporters. Sam Kerr replied that after a couple more vodka and Red Bulls, she’d be happy to oblige.
Image: ve2cjw - Pixabay
The first ten stories are set in a fictional, utopian version of York aka Yarwick while the other five are set in York as it was in my younger days. The stories are written to entertain but also to ask you to think about ways this wonderful city could be made even better.
Do you live in a city you love but would like to improve? Or in a dump which is in desperate need of change? What would you do if suddenly you had the power to enhance your environment? The first ten stories in this collection should give your imagination a boost to answer these questions. Set in the author's home city on York, transformed into Yarwick, the tales have ideas for how to set your town on the road to perfection.
Bill Banks is a rough diamond who has his own ideas of how the city should be and is ready to fight anyone or anything that gets in his way.
The collection is completed with five earlier stories set in York, which attempt to give the reader a feel for the atmosphere of this unique city.