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Ayrton Senna documentary, Senna: No Fear, No Limits, No equal is drawing the ire of viewers for not having been just released. The once lauded film documenting the life of the tragic Formula One racing driver, is, critics point out, now 13 years old. The documentary production team is scrambling to launch a defence of their work since it does in fact appear that the film isn’t new.


In 2012, Senna: No Fear, No Limits, No Equal, was chronologically new. At its launch, one of film maker Asif Kapadia’s people repeatedly referenced the newness of the work when questioned about its originality. ‘This is a new documentary. It is new. And so, we hope, in having made it very recently, that it will remain new. New Senna. New documentary. New newness.’ But now that his film has aged, Kapadia’s team is backtracking. ‘Look, we never ever maintained that Senna: No Fear, No Limits, No Equal was in its essence new. It wasn’t about newness. Or required newness qua newness.’


But critics point out that Kapadia’s new documentary, Senna: Newness qua Newness, again plays on the theme of newness as a strategic selling point. ‘I,’ said one. ‘I,’ he repeated, warming to his theme, ‘I think that Kapadia is a busted flush. The problem with his new work is there’s nothing new about it.’ Essentially new or in its essence new? ‘Old.’


Fans of the Brazilian motoring ace have called for a boycott of Kapadia’s works, including all future new ones. ‘For this guy to ever produce anything truly new, he’s going to have to be the newness he wants to see.’ Meaning? ‘Meaning he knew we knew the new doc wasn’t new new, just a new old version he knew not to be new.’


* Senna: No Fear, No Limits, No equal is out 13 years ago.







In response to the country being narrowly split, 2% to 98% in favour of helping the environment, the Prime Minister has promised to take back control of our weather systems. His current proposal is a Clexit, whereby the UK would be in a position to make its own oxygen, ozone and strike trade deals with dolphins.


There would be no need for a hard border in Ireland, as Northern Ireland would be submerged under five foot of glacial flood water. Plus, no one can meddle with British fisheries, if we will have no fish.

The Green Party have warned that a Clexit is unrealistic but, worse still, it would leave them with nothing to do. Meanwhile Jo Swinson and the Lib Dems have said they will simply revoke all environmental damage by holding their breath - indefinitely.


Mr. Johnson has set an ambitious deadline of destroying the environment before Brexit - which only gives him at least 10 years. In what is seen as a veiled criticism of those who would like to Remain in the environment, Boris said he would not rule out a Hard-Clexit, where we leave the Earth's eco-system; which involves packing the UK into a series of non-recyclable carrier bags and shooting it into space. 



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The Cuprinol-coloured cadaver-in-waiting Donald Trump has announced his intention to take the Isle of Wight for the US.


A spokesman said 'That place looks like it’s been bombed mercilessly for decades. Schools, hospitals, public services – they’re all ruined. Its radicalised population must be resettled throughout neighbouring counties. Hampshire and Dorset need to step up.'


'For starters, we’re changing the name to Isle of White, because… y’know. Wight and White are homophones, but no homo, because… y’know.'


'It could really use a massive gold Trump Casino. Perhaps we could rename the Solent and carve the Donald’s face on the white cliffs.’


Plus they’ve got the Needles, so Don Jr ought to be right at home too.'




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