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Recently released biopic “Adolf”, which purports to tell the true story of a young Austrian artist, has been criticised for glossing over the darker aspects of its subject’s character.


“Watching this film, you’d think he was nothing more than a rather conservative painter, unfairly turned away by the Vienna Academy of Arts,” said one critic.


“It’s no surprise to learn the Hitler estate had creative control over the project. They’ve left out everything that might make his fans uncomfortable.”


The film tells the story of young Adolf’s life, from a childhood tormented by a bullying father to the cusp of global superstardom.


For their part, Riefenstahl Studios refused to comment on what they called “unsubstantiated allegations” of dictatorship, political repression and genocide, hinting that those making the allegations were only looking for a payout.


Asked why they made the surprising decision to end the film in 1933, they said “Well isn’t it obvious? This way there’s a potential for a sequel, perhaps even two!


”We’ve already seen him becoming more interested in, shall we say, public speaking. And you’ve got to be impressed by the way Jaafar Hitler, the real life nephew of Adolf, really channels him during those performances. I’ve seen the rushes of the Nuremberg rally scenes, and honestly, it’s hard to believe it’s not him.”





An impatient public are unimpressed by Sabastian Sawe's world record and have demanded that he up his game. Said one bored spectator, 'Once you've broken the two hour mark, surely the next landmark is one hour? Trimming minutes off it is bull$hit, he's not trying. Has he thought about sprinting instead of jogging?'


To help him, the public have made useful suggestions, such as running down hill, trying half the distance or even a relay? There is a growing sense that the marathon would be so much faster on bicycles.


'A one hour marathon is doable given we can put a man on the moon-after all, just think how high he had to jump.'





King Charles has been given a Blue Peter badge for protecting nature and the environment. But Blue Peter viewers are not sure that the award is deserved, and are concerned about the BBC's motivation.


'We're not stupid,' said Noah, aged 7. ' We've all done Key Stage 1 Media Studies. We know that charter renewal is coming up. And we know that there is a tension between the palace and the Beeb. The BBC has covered Andrew's childish behaviour extensively, and they've also given airtime to the American outcasts, Harry and Meghan. And the King had done a Christmas message for ITV, purely to annoy the BBC. So is this just the BBC sucking up to the King?'


Kacey, aged 6, is also sceptical. 'Did the King earn the badge on his own? Or did other people do all the hard work, as usual? Blue Peter badges really means something, and the BBC shouldn't devalue them by throwing them around like FIFA peace prizes.'


Travis, aged 8, says that the King has his own system of prizes, and that he's awarded himself and his family plenty of titles and medals already. 'He shouldn't be stealing a Blue Peter badge from a deserving child. He can just give himself another Garter or something.'


A Palace spokesman declined to comment, but said that, based on his research, Blue Peter has no process for rescinding a badge, and this could only be done by Act of Parliament. The badge is currently on display in the Tower of London.

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