Due to a national heatwave, many places in the UK have been forced to climate change their names. The following is a list of new places people should be aware of who only know how to travel to destinations using satnavs in their SUVs which caused all this: Luton Flareport Heatrow Airport Melting Mowbray West Withering Brighton & Stove Southend of Days Popcornwall Bublin Fireland Northern Fireland Belfast-fried Armaghhhhhhhh Wails Charrediff Dundelighfully Gasglow Govanoven The Bake District East Anglian Sweatlands Burningham Burnmouth Smoke-on-Trent Sale-off-the-Scale Nukehassle Nukehassle-under-Slime East Rising of Yorkshire Puddings Nan-twitch Hottershaw Braisingstoke Blacknell Slough-ow-ow-ow Vestminster Sizzlington Wiltshire remains the same.
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Updated: Jul 20, 2022
Receiving some endless love from delighted spectators at the Fairford Air Show, the American made maverick took to the vanilla sky in a XB-70 Valkyrie bomber.
Jerry Maguire, born on the fourth of July, said: ‘This was no magnolia walkabout, he leaped into the cocktail- pit, I mean- primed the top gun; the firm grip he took of the taps- all the right moves. Taking off, suddenly he was far and away, then it began to rain, man. It felt like days of thunder, loud as a war of the worlds. The sky went the color of money- kinda greenish? Like knight and day at the same time.’
Jack Reacher, the last Samurai in Dorking, continued: ‘In that old plane, commissioned by a rogue nation, it was a risky business. The mummys- and a few good men- had their eyes wide shut. It was like he was on a mission, impossible to be stopped. He was spinning towards the rock of ages, heading for oblivion, any fallout would cause massive collateral damage. I turned to run, but told myself: “Jack Reacher: never go back”, and kept watching. At the last second he triggered the ghost protocol and pulled up. He should have been dead, reckoning on it now. This is what separates lions for lambs- the guy’s a total legend.’
With temperatures reaching tropic, thunder was forecast at the event from mid-afternoon until the edge of tomorrow, but in the end, only a minority reported losin’ it in the heat, mainly the outsiders with nowhere to avoid the sun, according to an interview with the “vampire goth flying enthusiasts” podcast.
Episode 15:. Hairy Cheese, Yellow Snow and the Railway Children
Comedy news from NewsBiscuit
Featuring Guests: Paul L & Mrs Wrenfoe
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