top of page
Search

Secret film emerges of Prince Charles rehearsing Coronation ceremony




Video, taken from a hidden camera on the Prince of Wales’s Highgrove estate, has emerged, seemingly showing the heir to the throne taking part in a mock Coronation ceremony.


He is surrounded by flunkeys wearing masks of the world leaders, and one wearing what appears to be a tea cosy on his head playing the Archbishop of Canterbury.


While Charles regally processes up and down the garden path, Camilla can be seen practising a Royal wave or two.


A spokeslackey commented, “His Royal Highness feels with covid rampant, and the very, very elderly still vulnerable, he needs to be prepared for any and every eventuality. Mind you; he has been doing this every week for the past twenty years now.”



First published 21 Dec 2021


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
















Cleaner becomes PM because she's the only gov't member not to have to resign over Xmas party




Following news that the civil servant leading the inquiry into the 10 Downing Street Christmas party has resigned because he also organised an illegal Christmas party, everyone in government - MPs, Lords and civil servants alike - has admitted that they also attended illegal Christmas parties last year, and has resigned. It appears that the only person employed by the government who did not organise or attend an illegal Christmas party in 2020 is Downing Street cleaner Grace Richards, 27, who will now become Prime Minister and form a new government.


The Labour Party was initially approached for this role, but its leader Keir Starmer said that he fully supported the government's action, and so his party would resign also. The Liberal Democrat HQ was on answerphone "following a big night for us", and the SNP said that they had no interest in taking responsibility for "that shambles south of Gretna Green".


Ms Williams said she "would need to have a bit of a think" before announcing her Cabinet and programme for office, but suggested that "taking money out of billionaires' offshore bank accounts and putting it into the NHS, higher wages for key workers, and a lot more buses on the 29 route to Westminster" would be among her key policies.



First published 20 Dec 2021


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?
















F*ck Off Gabriel! Cliff Richard song divides fans and critics



The race for this year’s Christmas number one has taken a surprising turn as veteran rock n’ roller Cliff Richard released F*ck off Gabriel, a catchy yuletide celebration of sacrilegious expletives. His long-awaited single has entered the charts at No3. Cliff has 327 Christmas number ones under his belt and is the only rock n’ roller to have a hit in every decade since the English civil war of 1642.


In a radical departure from sentimental schmaltz, Cliff’s latest offering has elements of old-school punk and new wave Ska, leaving some fans bitterly disappointed. Hundreds have resigned from his fan club in protest, although a spokesman for Cliff said they could all fuck off and die as far as he was concerned.


Among the controversial lyrics is a repeating chorus that could see him banned from Radio 2.


‘Pull a sexy cracker and wear a party hat,

Face-down in your dinner plate and vomit on the cat.

Free Palestine, yeah, yeah, yeah! (x4)’


Top of the Pops have agreed to let him perform if he promises to stop spitting at people. Loyal fans have their fingers crossed for another smash hit.


The only time he hasn’t had a number one was in 2014 when he was kept from the top spot by The Police.



image from pixabay


First published 19 Dec 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?















bottom of page