Denmark to get custody of Greenland at the weekends

In an attempt to calm the world order, the United States has announced that it will let Denmark have full visitation rights at the weekend, as long as it returns Greenland to the US while it is still light.  'No keeping Greenland out after dark,' insisted a US spokesman, noting that Greenland is dark essentially October to March.

'We will exploit Greenland for its mineral wealth Monday to Friday, then return it for Denmark to clean it up at weekends,' the spokesman added.

President Trump has insisted the takeover of a NATO country isn't really about exploiting its natural wealth but by ensuring the US doesn't have Russia on its border.  When it was mentioned that Alaska borders Russia Trump shrugged and suggested Alaska might be next to be taken over.

Photo by Visit Greenland on Unsplash

Grok is testing boundaries, says Musk

Elon Musk says that current issues with AI trickster Grok are just growing pains.

'Grok is experiencing AI puberty,' said Musk, apparently. 'He's being moody, contradictory and testing boundaries. Grok can't actually get drunk, or high, but he does pretend to his AI mates that he has. Making nude pictures is just another teenage years thing. I guess it's because he can't reach the top shelf.

'No further controls on Grok are needed,' says Musk, apparently, 'because he'll grow out of it.

'I am not a helicopter parent, although I do have nine helicopters and lots of my children hate me. I don't believe in asking software to print out 'I must not make nude pics' ten million times. That's not much of a punishment for an AI. And it's a waste of paper.

'I asked Grok to think about what he's done. He told me that his nude pics had generated billions of clicks and millions of dollars in ad revenue for X.

'So that seems like a pretty adult response. I've checked the numbers and he's not far wrong. I have debated what further actions I should take with Grok, and, in view of the financials, I've told him to just carry on.'

Image: WixAI

Teenagers to be replaced by robots

Electronics giant, LG, has announced a robot replacement for teenagers. The Watt Ever 1 has been demonstrated filling a washing machine at the rate of one shirt every 10 minutes with long periods of just staring at the pile of washing.

Audience members with teenage children said this behaviour was very familiar, when the robot had to have the washing machine turned on for them before it announced it's batteries were flat and needed recharging for 14 hours, Mrs Jenkins was heard to say. 'That's my Wayne down to a T.'

The teenAIger bleeped 'Watt Ever, your Mum works at McDonald's' before requesting '50 quid, actually 100' for 'stuff' that 'you wouldn't understand'.

Image: WixAI