The Prime Minister has stated that, following the completion of his latest cabinet re-shuffle, things are now completely sorted out and totally organised within the government.
'Let me be absolutely clear about this' announced Sir Keir 'I have now completed my duck re-arrangement, and all that remains is for me to finish getting my deck-chairs in a row.'Â
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The pope has asked everyone to treat lizards with respect, in case one of those born in a Telford zoo from a virgin mother might be the second coming of Jesus.
In other religious news, The Catholic Herald is demanding the Chancellor tells the meek how much inheritance tax they will be liable for.
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The Nottingham Post has found itself blacklisted by Nottingham Council, a subsidiary of Reform Ltd. The Councillors aren't allowed to answer questions from the journalists or even to let them judge their colouring-in.
NewsBiscuit understands that its journalists (sic) are also banned from being provided soundbites, dubious factoids or frankly unbelievable claptrap from any part of the council, but especially from the elected morons. In the absence of access to low quality information from lower quality councillors playing at running a council NewsBiscuit has no other option than to make stuff up and write articles that are almost, but critically not quite, libellous about the bell-ends running Nottingham Council. Their colouring-in, by the way, is atrocious. They can't find the line, let alone stay inside of it. Not libellous, just fact.
To save being banned by other Reform Ltd run councils it is now NewsBiscuit policy to write absolute bollocks about each and every other Reform Ltd council in the UK, just as we do and have done about any political entity since we started.Â
However, following Reform UK Ltd CEO's claim in Washington that Reform Ltd doesn't silence critics or media, NewsBiscuit is now looking forward to seeing the Nottingham Post in Reform briefings soon.
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