"All this way for nothing," whine foreign correspondents

"We went all the way to Alaska to cover a meeting between the two most duplicitous human beings in the whole wide world, genuinely hoping they'd agree an honest deal with each other within a few hours.

"We're really that naive.

"Now the peace talks between Trump and Putin have failed, the line we've decided to run is that we went all the way to Alaska for nothing and it's not fair.

"Honestly, we don't know why we do this job.

"Oh, yes. We remember.

"It's for the air miles, the expense account food and hotel stays on assignment, the duty free at the airports, and the chance to show off to all our colleagues when we get back.

"Saying 'I flew all the way to Alaska for nothing and Putin didn't answer my question in the press conference' sounds sickengly smug to a copytaker in the newsroom who's just taken the train in from Penge.

"We love doing that."

https://pixabay.com/photos/alaska-mountains-scenic-sea-5177041/

https://www.newsbiscuit.com/

Celebrity Country Swap

Channel 4 has pitched a new reality TV show based on the Alaska summit where President Putin humiliated the entire United States in minutes.

'The summit was a great idea,' said a Channel 4 spokesman today, 'but using a tired, washed out former reality presenter to host the show ruined it.

'Our pitch is to repeat the summit but this time to complete the process and exchange whole countries. For example, with Vladimir hosting the show he could swap, say, Ukraine for, I don't know, the Isle of Wight. The Isle of Wight would, obviously, be controlled by Russia because, well that's what Vlad suggested,' he added.

https://www.newsbiscuit.com/

To test British empathy, mention Inheritance Tax

Despite only five percent of estates liable for any Inheritance Tax, with the first £1 million completely tax free and often with another large tax free chunk with careful planning any mention just of the tax, let alone increasing it for a small subset of those in scope, results in outrage from people who are never, ever going to pay IHT in a month of lifetimes.

For people to howl at the injustice for those about to inherit multi-millions even though they will probably struggle to survive the rest of their own miserable existence is a demonstration of British empathy. Forget children starving, youngsters saddled with renting forever but rail against a tax only applicable to a minority.

'In reality fewer than 0.05% of the population has an estate subject to IHT in any year,' said a financial spokesman today, noting that scrapping IHT would need other taxes being increased. 'To be fair, the government has tried increasing taxes on families and taking benefits off the elderly so it's a possibility,' he said.

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash