'We should have acted earlier, but we couldn't afford to' says BBC suit

A BBC big cheese has said the corporation ideally should have acted sooner on concerns about the way a Panorama documentary featuring Donald Trump was edited, exposing the corporation to the risk of being sued in UK courts. However, the delay has rather conveniently meant that the time limit for a libel case in the UK has expired.

The comments follow the smooth, even slick, smiling, resignation of the broadcaster's director general Tim Davie and CEO of News Deborah Turness.

The BBC has been under fire amid accusations that the documentary misled viewers, splicing sections from a Donald Trump speech on 6 January 2021 to make it appear he was explicitly urging people to attack the US Capitol.

The controversial edit was highlighted in a well-timed, leaked BBC memo published by the Telegraph newspaper last week.

'We can still be sued in the US' said the big chief, 'but that's the government's problem, so meh'

Who isn't mentioned in the Epstein files/emails?

That sultry divorcee from number 23 is almost certainly in the files, as is Barry who works the till at Asda.  Obviously any politician you don't like is in there, probably the one you do like is too. Rock stars?  Probably, although ironically McCartney isn't.  Yet.

But are these people really in the files, or was Epstein just harvesting names and email addresses randomly?  Did he buy up email hacks from the dark web, the  not-so-dark web and the positively really dark web?

Is it really likely that the current President of the United States, a Republican, has given a former, Democrat, President a blowjob?  Or did Epstein get confused - about who got the BJ?

Anyway, Trump has an army of people trawling through the Epstein files removing his name and inserting someone else's instead.  That's your name, you know that, don't you?

In our next detailed report we'll discuss how conspiracy theories are started, and by who.

Ministry of Justice to implement new hard-hitting plans to deal with convicted prisoners

In an attempt to staunch the recent and highly embarrassing flow of prisoners being allowed to go free moments after having been sentenced to imprisonment, the Ministry of Justice has issued new tough guidelines.

A department spokesman explained: 'We've come up with a rather clever scheme, actually. As convicted prisoners leave the dock, a security guard will accompany them to a holding area in the court to be known as "the cells".

'There they will await the arrival of transport to bring them to jail. Upon arrival there they will be shown into their new accommodation and the door will then be locked. Why no one's thought of it before is somewhat puzzling. Gosh, what silly old sausages we've been.' 

Photo by 7500 RPM on Unsplash