Trump hires saluki as new White House press secretary

"The President is delighted to announce that he has appointed a golden-haired saluki as his new press secretary, in place of Katie Zacharia," said a White House kennel maid.

"The saluki, chosen at random from Four Legged Friends of Earscratch, Virginia, has all the qualities Mr Trump is looking for.

"She is blonde, doesn't mind being stroked, clams up when asked questions, has zero legal qualifications and can run like hell out of the press room when things get tough.

"The saluki also exhibits dog-like degrees of loyalty and devotion, is dumb enough to support Trump's policies without realising how criminal and stupid they are and, like the President himself, she is completely barking.

"And even if the saluki lasts only a single day in the post it'll be longer than Zacaharia lasted - when measured in dog years."

image by Grok

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Harry and Meghan, appearing in public for 1st time could start a trend

Recent excitement about seeing an Englishman going out in the midday sun, was in itself remarkable not only because of the unusual appearance of the sun at this time of year, but more particularly that it appeared at noon, has now been eclipsed, as the Nations lungs were almost overfilled of breath intakes, there suddenly appeared this mans wife.

As shock waves rippled through communities across the nation, even Mr & Mrs Tombony at no 17 were inspired to but the milk bottles out together, before it got dark.

Ladies who used to walk the dog in the park, have now been seen walking their husbands, whilst the dog stares wistfully through the net curtains at home.

BBC have announced a rebranding of a popular series, now to be called “A Man and his Wife” in an effort to boost flagging Licence fees.

Terms like “a couple” have been trending although scholars have been scrolling through parchments and dictionaries to see if there are historically any connection to other interpretation of that particular described activity.

A palace Spokesman said “One would prefer not to comment about the term Couple, as it could mean “one” then another “one” , but he would not go so far as to say it implied in any way that “One” was giving the other “One” One, (as it were ), and hopefully not in public.

image by Grok

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In future, NHS hospital will be required to have separate corridors for patients who are men

The NHS has announced separate corridors for patients who are men, patients who are women, patients who are men pretending to be women, patients who women pretending to be men, patients who decline to choose, patients who do choose but who decline to declare which their preference is, straight corridors, gay corridors, miserable corridors, one-way corridors and corridors which run both ways.

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