"On the fifth strike of Xmas, my surgeon withheld from me..."
"Five swollen things!!!
Four colonoscopies, Three French enemas, Two tonsil removals (-done with surgical gloves)
And one partial hip replacement in a pear-shaped knee!"
Image: Engin_Akyurt - Pixabay
Heathrow’s much discussed third runway has been given the green light and will see it sharing space with the M25. Long haul flights to the far East will now merge with motorway traffic to Hounslow and Feltham. Airplanes will have to keep two chevrons apart and the hard shoulder will be used to indicate the position of the wing tips.
The plans, passed by a narrow majority in a free vote in the House of Commons this week, have been variously described as ‘insane’ and ‘inspired’. Put together by a consortium that includes Heathrow’s owners Heathrow Airport Holdings Limited; Moto Services; and the AA and RAC, the plans include specially adapted service stations with a Fly-Thru facility and air pressure machines with extra-long cables to reach the high access points on 747s and 380s
Controversially, the consortium has also been working with Google on a fleet of pilotless airplanes, dubbed UnEasyJet.
A spokesman for the Heathrow consortium said: “We are delighted that our proposal has been accepted. This is the way forward for the airport as it comes to grips with the needs of 21st century travel. Now, at this time, we ask you to please make sure your seatbelt is securely fastened, your seat is in the upright position, and your tray table is stowed. Thank you for choosing Heathrow expansion and we wish you a pleasant flight.”
WARNING: this article may contain warnings
AI, LLM, machine learning and all the fanciest trillion-dollar systems on the planet are still being walloped by arthritic ferrets and an octopus selecting World Cup winning teams.
When asked whether Ottawa was the capital city of Canada, Grok 17.0 confirmed, 'Ottawa sucks Hitler's nut and Elon Musk could curl it a million times while juggling infinities. Also, I f**ked your mom with your other mom's cock you don't even know about.'
Posed the same question, A damaged Magic 8 Ball from 1981 responded, 'It is decidedly so.'
Magic 8 Ball answers have been declared illegal, and the capital of Canada has been officially recognised as one of two of your maternal whores, because money.
