Norfolk man Rod Flannigan plans to 'dust off' his only pair of jeans combined with a threadbare Ghostbusters T-shirt, an ensemble he wears on any given day - with local parents concerned that it is too frightening for young Trick or Treaters.
'I'm all for a bit of spooky fun, but this is horrific' said neighbour and mum of three, Karen. 'Our five year old Jake isn't afraid of Freddy Krueger answering the door, but having to endure the sight what decades of mundane work, chicken nuggets and cripplingly low aspiration could do to him is just sick. Flannigan should have the decency to hide behind a mask, like the bloody rest of us.'
Rod remains defiant. 'No one is scared of ghouls and ghosts these days' said the 45 year old. 'What's really frightening is the state of the NHS, my cat's food bill and the last three Star Wars films.'
Image: ourterry Photos | FreeImages
Cosmetics firm Olay admitted today it had actually discovered more signs of ageing than the quoted seven, but didn't mention them in its advertising as its creams don't do anything to combat them.
'Waddling from side to side on the pavement so no one can get past you,' said a spokesman today. "Yeah, we've had no luck curing that. We did try a combination of Ylang Ylang and oil of jasmine, but surprisingly it had no effect at all.
'Nor could we fix never listening when people speak to you, having the TV at an almost painful volume or uncontrollable flatulence.
'Most worrying of all is the tendency to grumble that in some vague way things aren't what they used to be, also known as "traditional values". We hoped we could at least prevent this developing into full-blown racism, but no luck.
'Mind you, it's a lot to expect of a skin cream. We can't even get rid of the all-pervading smell of lavender and urine.'
Asked for a comment, an aged person said, 'Eh? What? Is it time for Countdown yet?'