UK world leader in Nanatechnology

With AI being dominated by US tech companies, the UK is fighting back with an advanced technology, Nanatechnology.

'While the world is draining reservoirs to keep AI data centres running just to create funny videos of cats, we're harnessing the power of the Nana,' said a government spokesman.

'Need to know when the clocks go back? Where the sticky tape is kept? How to knit a nuclear weapon? Just ask Nana,' he said.

The aim is to network the country's Nanas to create a SuperNana, capable of predicting drizzle at the weekend, finding matches for every odd sock in Britain and ensuring every UK resident gets a fifty pence coin Sellotaped to the inside of every birthday card every year,' he added.

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As the world panics over "out of control" AI Trump rides to the rescue

As fears over AI running out of control and killing us all grow by the minute, a true hero has come forward to save the human race.

Speaking to reporters from inside his gold and jewel encrusted lair, Donald Trump said. 'All this stuff about AI going to kill us is fake news. People are overreacting. But in the unlikely event there is any truth in this woke garbage, just relax, word. Because I'm a smart president. Everyone says so. The smartest.  And I aced three kindergarten tests to prove it.

'No one knows more about AI or global crises than I do. Let's face it, I'm responsible for all the current ones. So if these robots do try any funny business we'll get our brave ICE agents to pour bleach over them. They won't like that and it'll knock them out in seconds. RFK and Pete Hegseth agree.

'So that's that. Carry on as normal. Now I gotta go and cheat at golf. Thank you for your attention to this matter.'

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The civilisational threat of Genuine Dumbness

Technologists warning of the dangers of Artificial Intelligence have today admitted that a far greater threat may be posed by Genuine Dumbness.

'For too long we’ve assumed that GD is constrained by its own dumbness, and will never be able to achieve anything,” said Rahindra Spod, CEO of NerdTech today. 

'But recently, we’re finding this only works in an environment that’s reasonably intelligent, and therefore will recognise the dumbness for what it is.

'Put GD in a dumb environment, however, and it can rise to enormous heights because its dumbness is no longer a disadvantage. It may even be a selling point.

'We fear there might even be a recursive feedback loop, with GD encouraged by its environment to become progressively dumber - a process that could theoretically go on forever, with no natural end point. Thankfully, renaming Lake Ontario is as bad as it’s got so far.'

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