The BBC has apologised for broadcasting a marmalade based tirade delivered by Paddington Bear during the 2026 BAFTAs ceremony. The heckle was considered particularly offensive due to it happening while two representatives of the jam industry were presenting an award for best use of a non-citrus toast topper in a television drama.
As the jam executives took to the stage, viewers watching the live coverage were to hear cries of 'jam w**kers', emitting from a table nearby where the marmalade-eating Peruvian was known to be seated.
Later, when Paddington made his scheduled appearance on stage himself to present the award for best children's and family entertainment programme, viewers were shocked when he slammed a jar of marmalade onto the podium and declared, 'this is what a breakfast condiment looks like, you f***ers!'
Viewers were later told by host, Alan Cumming, that anyone who has seen Paddington or any of its sequels will know that South American bears have close to no control when talking about, or in the presence of, the citrus fruit preserve, be it raw from the jar or in sandwich form, and that while they apologised for any offence caused, it's equally important that we have a conversation about our relationship with the tangy breakfast favourite made from the juice and peel of oranges. However, several witnesses to the event denied that any such condition existed, and said that the usually timid bear arrived at the ceremony already off his tits on 25 jars of Robinson's Golden Shred.
Image: aitoff - Pixabay
- deskpilot
- Nov 15, 2025
Our man on the inside at Broadcasting House found this letter in a waste paper bin on the top floor, so we reckon that it is 110% genuine...
'Dear President Trump
We are sorry about the editing on that Panorama program. But you did say all those things. Just not necessarily in that order.
We have talked to all the staff on Panorama about this, including the staff members working on the upcoming episodes provisionally titled Epstein: The Real Story, The Epstein Papers Uncovered, Andrew, Epstein and Trump, The Inside Story of Virginia Giuffre, Epstein: The Untold Story, America and The End Of Democracy, and Epstein: The Last Trump. We will be checking those Panorama programmes much more carefully, rest assured. Thanks to the publicity you have given to the BBC and Panorama, we now expect to sell these programmes for broadcast in the USA and make ourselves a bit of extra cash. We hope that you enjoy watching them.
Regarding damages, we are prepared to accept a settlement from you of one billion dollars, for your libelous comments about the BBC and Fake News. A man in your position ought to know better. If you are unable to send the money within seven days, then the bill will double every seven days until you pay up. We hope that we are talking a language that you understand.
Yours very faithfully, the BBC'
Image: WixAI