The BBC’s letter to Donald Trump

Our man on the inside at Broadcasting House found this letter in a waste paper bin on the top floor, so we reckon that it is 110% genuine...

'Dear President Trump

We are sorry about the editing on that Panorama program. But you did say all those things. Just not necessarily in that order.

We have talked to all the staff on Panorama about this, including the staff members working on the upcoming episodes provisionally titled Epstein: The Real Story, The Epstein Papers Uncovered, Andrew, Epstein and Trump, The Inside Story of Virginia Giuffre, Epstein: The Untold Story, America and The End Of Democracy, and Epstein: The Last Trump. We will be checking those Panorama programmes much more carefully, rest assured. Thanks to the publicity you have given to the BBC and Panorama, we now expect to sell these programmes for broadcast in the USA and make ourselves a bit of extra cash. We hope that you enjoy watching them.

Regarding damages, we are prepared to accept a settlement from you of one billion dollars, for your libelous comments about the BBC and Fake News. A man in your position ought to know better. If you are unable to send the money within seven days, then the bill will double every seven days until you pay up. We hope that we are talking a language that you understand.

Yours very faithfully, the BBC'

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