2150 CE. Archaeologists discover remains of HS2 line

Work on the new Maglev line has been stopped two miles from the edge of the Brum Megopolis after workers discovered rails that may have been buried over one hundred years ago. Experts believe these may be the remains of the now long forgotten HS2 project.

Spokesperson, Ivor Trowel, told reporters 'we are confident in our findings. This is the classic vanity project that collapsed in on itself; much the same as the Egyptian Pyramids, the Trump Library of Culture, and the Rwandan Relocation Project.

'Myth has it that high priests thought that they would save several minutes on a line dedicated to taking the dead to the darklands of the Northern Desert. In fact they wasted whole years and ended up precisely nowhere.

'Ee, civilisations eh? Ya cuddent mek it up'.

Image: Pixabay/Tama66

ITV 2 in highbrow archaeology show shock

Media experts have been left reeling today after ITV 2 announced it is to commission and broadcast a new show that will examine famous archaeological sites and what we learnt from them.

A channel spokesman said: ‘We thought we'd try something a little different as an experiment. Some say it’s time to spread our wings and grow up as a broadcaster.’

But twenty something couple Jayden and Shaneece Reece from Tooting aren’t happy at the prospect of watching a programme that's neither a docusoap nor "reality" show on their channel of choice.

‘We like fings like TOWIE and Made in Chelsea, yeah? We don’t know naffink about Egyptian mummies and old Romans ruins, and that,’ said Shaneece. ‘Although if the show’s makers could guarantee lots of tits and bums somehow and maybe introduce a phone-in voting system I’d be up for giving it a go,’ added Jayden.

However ITV 2 has been quick to reassure its core audience the normal torrent of tasteless and tawdry shite will still make up 99.99% of the channels output.

'I can assure our viewers that we are not about to go all arty-farty and highbrow on them. This is something we are trying, just to ring the changes and maybe help keep Ofcom at bay,' said the spokesman.

'In addition to the new archaeology show we have commissioned a new 8-part series in the Autumn called, When Cock Enlargements and Arse Implants Go Wrong, scheduled to hit the screens in the run up to Christmas.'