In a coordinated attack, the US military has taken full and complete control of a small inflatable unicorn.
White House officials in optimum brag mode confirmed a great conquest. 'Operation Playpit has been a total success, requiring the combined force of 40,000 armed soldiers, 8 cavalry units, 200 military aircraft, a fleet of Pacific battle cruisers, and the sum of all CIA, NSA, FBI and ICE intelligence.
'The strategic gains of this glorious victory are immeasurable.
'We now have absolute domination over a significant part of US soil. As you can see from the map behind me, the swingball set will be in our possession by sundown, and the trampoline will be fully surrounded as early as next week.
'There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever of a list on the fridge door held in place by a strawberry flavoured magnet.
'There have been losses. And we must raise the debt ceiling a further five trillion dollars. But this is the price we must pay for these vast gains, striking at the heart of our Californian enemy.'
A neighbour who witnessed the siege confirmed, 'The family's pet hamster kept the US military at bay all through the night. At one point she had them pinned down, but eventually succumbed to the onset of daylight.
'It could have been much worse. There could've been water in the paddling pool.'
Image: ThePixelman - Pixabay
