Radioactive capsule found after unusual concentration of superheroes detected

Australian officials have been explaining how they managed to find a 8x6mm capsule along a 900km stretch of road.

"It started when Wagga Wagga Capes and Extra Large Underpants Emporium reported a spike in sales to Newman, Western Australia.", said Pouchwoman - formally known as Officer Brenda Martin - speaking from her glittering 150m high crystal kangaroo stronghold.

"When officers neared the area, there were a lot of 'unusual' people on the road in a particular spot; Digeridoo Man, Wallaby Woman, Wombatman, Duck Bill Platypus Man - he's my husband, he's not a superhero; that's just his nickname - was with me and suggested the capsule must be close by; as I got out the car, I was bitten by a glowing kangaroo and the next couple of hours were a bit of a blur and I woke up here with the capsule safely in my pouch. And I dare say, a lot of supervillains will be a bit worried from now on. In unrelated news, Boris Johnson is visiting the Ukraine and asking about "safe houses".

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image from pixabay

Suicidal Koala had been watching Freeview TV, says therapist

A good Samaritan who helped a koala cross a busy road has expressed surprise at being bitten on the arse by

the outraged marsupial. The koala had been trying to end it all after being subjected to hours of Dave ja vu, E4 Extra, and teleshopping.

Footage of a well meaning Aussie saving the life of the cute critter has gone viral. However, the koala is believed to have climbed an electricity pylon shortly afterwards. Eye witnesses heard the distressed marsupial shouting: 'I've had enough of Big Bang re-runs! Spare me A Place in the Sun!' before biting a cable and going up like a prawn on a barbie.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/martinstr-108372/

Dusky Woodswallow a bird not a porn star

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