The Household Cavalry have agreed, for the duration of his recent driving ban or until the coronation of His Majesty King Charles III, whichever occurs first, to lend one of their horses to Edward Fitzalan-Howard, the 18th Duke of Norfolk. As Earl Marshal, the duke is defined as 'the principal organiser of royal funeral processions, royal coronation processions and all that kind of stuff'.
However the cavalry have respectfully requested him to observe speed limits, not to ride through any red traffic lights and to bring his horse to a halt when requested to do so by police traffic officers. In particular they have advised his grace to refrain from using his mobile phone while his horse is in motion.
He has also been advised to comply with any police stop-and-search operations intended to detect whether he may be carrying a bladed weapon of any description. It is not known whether he will be required to wear the full uniform of the Household Cavalry.
However, as a mark of respect for the people of Ukraine, and to signify his disapproval of President Putin's invasion of their country, he is at least expected to keep his shirt on at all times.
New legislation will mean all protests will need to be politely mumbled. The only way to smuggle in loudhailers will be in the rectum of Kirstie Allsopp.
Having recently swallowed her own AirPods, the TV star confessed she was working her way through the shelves at Currys. Her agent confirmed: 'Kirstie is aiming to swallow seven microphones, a boom box and a flat screen TV.'
What is not clear is if Allsopp is defending free speech or just had an attack of the munchies.
Image from Pixabay by terimakashih0: