- Throngsman
- Jul 31, 2025
The United Kingdom is aiming to recognise a two state solution for Israel and Palestine unless Israel recognises a two state solution for Israel and Palestine, in which case the offer is off the table.
'Of course we'd love to support a two state solution, but if Israel want to do it we'll sit back and probably tut,' said a UK spokesperson today. He added that if the US recognised a two state solution then the UK 'probably will, too, but not if Russia does, unless Russia and the US agree to both recognise a two state solution. In that case we might. Or might not,' the spokesman said.
'Is that clear enough?' he asked.
image from pixabay
The BBC has announced the series of MasterChef filmed prior to the production company investigations into the conduct of hosts Gregg Wallace and John Torode will now be shown with extensive editing, including the replacement of both with stand-ins.
"It's been a logistical challenge," said Nono Dodat, Head of Compliance. "We've brought in people who've worked on productions where the major difference was the stars had actually died rather than just being dead to everyone. They advised us to keep the long shots, then use a mixture of body-doubles and CGI on the close-ups to ensure no-one has to palpably wince as the two of them nibble at yet another potato fondant with a truffle foam."
The Corporation has also addressed the issue of voices through looking to its past, as Dodat explained, "The original idea was continued narration by our usual cast. However, she's on holiday at the moment, so we decided to take a leaf out of the old News reports and simply get an available actor to overdub both John and Gregg, like they had to do with Gerry Adams in the 90s. It works really well and an Ulster accent really suits John."
Prior to the broadcast, the replacement for Gregg has not been named, but documents released by the BBC show the purchase of a bag of googly eyes and two-dozen eggs.
image from pixabay