Panorama releases more dodgy Trump clips

The BBC’s Panorama programme announced today it has some more clips of President Trump saying awful things.

The clips appear to show Trump admitting the moon landings were faked, confessing to being the Boston Strangler, encouraging John Wilkes-Booth to assassinate Abraham Lincoln and telling the residents of Pompeii not to worry as 'Vesuvius always makes noises like that.'

However, critics have pointed out that the footage seems very jerky, suggesting these are different bits of film crudely spliced together - an impression strengthened by the fact that Trump often appears to change clothes several times in the course of a sentence. Moreover, a lot of the footage doesn’t seem to be Trump at all, just the member of Panorama staff who does the best Trump impression wearing a silly wig.

'Guys, this really isn’t helpful,' said leading Democrat Chuck Schumer. 'What Trump actually says is awful enough, we don’t need you to make stuff up. It just encourages people not to trust what they see on the news.'

However, by the time Panorama had finished editing his statement, it sounded like he was coming out strongly in favour of the licence fee, and demanding Panorama be recommissioned for another season.

Image credit: perchance.org

Those BBC programme cutbacks in full

"We've entrusted the BBC's governors to oversee our defence against President Trump's libel suit," said a spokes-antenna for the corporation, "and that almost definitely means we'll lose the case and have to pay him a fortune.

"With that in mind," continued the spokes-cheque, "we're replacing our regular TV schedule with an exciting new economy line of programmes.

"East Enders will be replaced with Ceased Enders, where viewers can watch scene shifters take apart the set on Albert Square so it can be flogged to Sky.

"Top Gearbox will see the madcap team go to a Unipart warehouse to compare gearboxes for price and quality.

"There'll be Dr Who Can Lend Us A Fiver and our new charity fundraiser, Corporation in Need.

"And every day we'll be screening an exhilarating new psycho-drama called Transmisson Test Card, featuring a girl playing noughts and crosses with a weird clown doll.

"We're expecting the whole of Britain to be riveted to their screens, waiting for him to come to life and draw a nought.

Unfortunately, we can't brg you any more examples of new cut price programmes because we've just laid off everyone in our comedy writing team.

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A letter to the BBC about allowing the Green Party to talk

Dear Whoever is currently in charge of the BBC,

I was furious again today. The radical BBC again showed how biased it is against the English by wasting time doing some sort of Green Party interview. The Green Party! I mean, they have only ever had one MP and no one likes them.

I was trying to listen to Radio 4 to see if they were slating the “Budget” enough, and they decided to do this bit on the extremist, radical Green party. I was disgusted, DISGUSTED! that instead of getting Sir Nigel Farage to talk about them, they had some foreign sounding bloke called Zick Zack Poland-ski. Apparently he is some sort of leader, probably just the leader of the Welsh Greens, WHICH IS A NOTHING POSITION!

How dare this literal terrorist be interviewed and take valuable time from other political parties, parties that have many more MPs than this joke of a party. I was too angry to listen to single word he said, it was probably all about trees, although I think I heard him talk defensively about tits at one point.

Where was the Reform Ltd representative to counter balance his radical tree hugging nonsense? Cancelled probably. Bloody typical.

If I paid my BBC Licence, I would be livid that I had paid for such wokeness.

I am going to have to paint a roundabout to calm down and maybe shout at a hotel next time I am over there.

Concerned,

A True English Patriot currently living in Malaga

Image: SEVENHEADS - Pixabay

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