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Sir David Attenborough has a loud, piercing laugh, 'like a cat full of marbles rolling down a hill', sources close to the renowned naturalist and broadcaster said today. It is believed that Mr. Attenborough uses this laugh to protect his territory and attract mates.


The tactic has hitherto remained secret because the television star disguises it in broadcasts through a combination of judicious whispering and being very serious all the time. The desperate attempts not to laugh have taken their toll however, as apparently Mr. Attenborough finds giant tortoises and monkeys especially hilarious. Colleagues have mentioned recently how he would quietly discuss Bonobo status tactics on camera before collapsing in breathless shrieks that would terrify birds for miles around.


The natural world does not often see the arrival of broadcasters with peculiar laughs. A Jimmy Carr might be spotted scrabbling for tax returns, or maybe a Ricky Gervais trying for a fourth series. And yet ... even here ... an Attenborough may occasionally let one rip that has the sound recordist running for cover.




An enquiry has been launched at Broadcasting House following delays yesterday in a welding team to arrive to weld shut lift doors containing Michael Gove.


A spokesman explained the chain of events; "At around 8am, Mr Gove entered, what I now understand, was a specially prepared lift. Unfortunately, notification of this wasn't passed onto the UK Risk Containment Board and the welding team wasn't scrambled until it was too late and Mr Gove had escaped, er, left the lift."


It's understood that the lift containing Mr Gove was planned to be sold to a group of somewhat irate fishermen.





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