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Bookies odds on Donald Trump’s next big surprises


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Donald Trump continues to outwit the bookies, with a series of moves that no-one saw coming. Like sacking the head of the army, calling Zelensky a dictator, voting with Russia in the UN and lying his face off in front of Emmanuel Macron. If you’d predicted all those things, then an accumulator bet would have made you very rich.


So, if you fancy your chances, bookies are offering good odds on the next bizarre moves by the orange man baby. Here’s a quick rundown:


5-4 odds:   Trump claims Australia (and all its minerals), saying that all native Australians are descended from Native Americans who crossed the pacific in small boats in the 12th century.


2-1:  Trump reintroduces segregation. This time it is for non-Americans, especially Mexicans and Canadians, and for anyone who is LGBTQ. Planes, trains and buses must have separate seats, toilets and in flight snacks for true Americans.


5-2:  Trump amends the US Constitution to allow him a third term. And a fourth. And a fifth.

3-1:  Trump refuses to assist LA after the devastating fires, saying that it was all due to Democrat policies.

4-1:  Trump demands that the firstborn in each household is slain. For non-American households only, obviously.

5-1:  Trump starts holding all meetings naked, saying that nakedness is simply a logical extension of free speech

6-1:  Trump nominates himself to be the next Pope and/or to be America’s first king

10-1:  Trump and Putin agree to share the moon, and tell India and China that they already owe the US a considerable amount in parking fines and penalties for the abandoned space vehicles up there.

12-1:   Trump demands, and is given, the Oscar for best President.  JD Vance gets best supporting President.

14-1:  Trump demands a rematch against the Sioux and Arapahoe tribes in Battle of the Little Bighorn 2, and that this is filmed for Netflix

15-1: Trump sells Truth Social to Elon Musk for billions

16-1:  Trump tries to sell Jordan (the country) to Syria

1,000,000-1:  Trump stops lying and being a git and apologises for everything

Concern as Southgate captured betting on date of England Euro exit

Another betting scandal has rocked the U.K as footage of, what appears to be, Gareth Southgate placing several bets on the date England will fail in their 2024 Euro bid. The footage has divided opinion with some commentators suggested it's a potential conflict of interest, whereas others are looking forward to Southgate finally winning something tangible. 


When approached for comment, Southgate refuted the allegations "After all the kindness England supporters have shown me these last few weeks, it's very hurtful that people would suspect someone who looks, speaks and has the same account details as me as being me, placing a bet against England."


Whilst Southgate acknowledged the tournament had a shaky start, he never lost respect for the fans "The sheer dedication it must have taken to write that many death threats and abusive Facebook posts in such a short period of time just really shows the fan's passion for the game, it's touching, really."


"Receiving such pointed feedback about logistics of running an national football team of pro-level athletes from people who get out of breath walking to the fridge has been truly invaluable. But even with all that good humoured feedback, I just have a feeling that England's bid will end in failure this coming Sunday."


At press time, Southgate was seen lacing the starting 11's drinking bottles with a mystery substance, muttering "Looks like someone beat me to it." when approaching Harry Kane's.




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