- syntaxerror01
- Aug 24, 2022
With Kate and William now able to look for odds and bobs for their new residence Kate discovers a “jewel” of an offer in the classified ads in the Sun on Sunday. It sounds too good to be true but a couple having trouble finding a new abode, have decided to offer their unique stripey wallpaper for 10% of it’s original price. Although it’s been used just once it still retains it’s original sheen, and there is enough for a decent size living room.
There would have been more available but 3 rolls were cut into handy 95mm slices and a further 7 cut at 120mm. These were for the “petit office” as they blended in with the surroundings. One word of advice from the madam of the house. 'Paint the walls of your “petit office” white as both rolls were hard to find against the background! And bring a wheelbarrow, they're bloody heavy.'
Image: kengkreingkrai | Pixabay
Scientists now understand how a tiny creature from long ago evolved to doing away with an anus.
Professor Magnus Trout from the Isle of Wight Institute of Natural Sciences explains:-
“During the course of the development of life on Earth, nature tries all types of combinations – including those that end up in evolutionary dead ends – if you’ll pardon the pun. So for every creature such as this, there will be other mutations that will continue if they are successful.
We know, for example, that there is a creature that is diametrically opposite to this one. It is all anus – ‘Totalus Arseholeus’. It can be found in all areas of the Conservative Party but particularly prime examples can be found in government. It specialises in excreting over anyone and everyone.
This creature is a distinct risk to the survival of the human race, with priority given to private sector shareholder profits, as opposed to realistically tackling global warming.
There is a faint hope for the future of the rest of mankind. The withdrawal of its usual nourishment – corrupt Covid contracts and Russian oligarch donations – may mean that it eventually becomes extinct