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Conspiracy theorists have called on the government to renegotiate part of the Brexit deal or risk losing parts of its conspiracy industry.

Amid concerns over the cost of living generally; and in particular the effect that increased cost of energy is having on aluminium foil production, they are concerned that people may soon be unable to afford to make tin foil hats.


“The dangers are obvious” said a leading conspiracy theorist. “If people can’t afford to replace their foil hats, but somehow manage to get by without them, like they’ve had to do with fresh food, it will put greater pressure on the already stressed NHS.”


The Association of Aluminium Foil Suppliers, which includes names such as Aldi, Sainsburys and Tesco have added their weight to the discussion, by saying that they really don’t care what people use aluminium foil for, but if they find the ridiculous profits they make from the product decline, they will naturally have to hike the prices of other products to compensate.


image from pixabay





In the first significant benefit of leaving the European Union, our brave Brexiteers have ensured that the evil Orient Express will no longer abuse our glorious rail network.


The train of death, a bane on our otherwise perfect crime statistics, is a pit of elitist depravity and is full of philanderers, murderers and even Belgians.


Brexit has put a stop to this and it is in no way the company's decision because of extra bureaucracy. Nope, not that at all.


A Brexit spokesperson was quoted saying, 'Good riddance. Now to stop the direct train to Euro Disney. What? They are already going to do that?'




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