In the first significant benefit of leaving the European Union, our brave Brexiteers have ensured that the evil Orient Express will no longer abuse our glorious rail network.
The train of death, a bane on our otherwise perfect crime statistics, is a pit of elitist depravity and is full of philanderers, murderers and even Belgians.
Brexit has put a stop to this and it is in no way the company's decision because of extra bureaucracy. Nope, not that at all.
A Brexit spokesperson was quoted saying, 'Good riddance. Now to stop the direct train to Euro Disney. What? They are already going to do that?'