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European leaders have a Trump rota


Giorgia Meloni , the Italian Prime Minister, is having a media spat with Donald Trump about who wanted a selfie. The spat has been raging back and forth for a week or so.


Although the insult trading is mundane - business as usual for Trump - it has revealed that European leaders have a rota for scrapping with the US President.


Keir Starmer confirmed the existence of the rota when he said, 'I can neither confirm nor deny that there is a European Trump tantrum rota.'


Recent run-ins have included spats with Spain about Israel, with Denmark about Greenland, with Narnia about immigration, with Italy about defence, with Britain about windmills, with Ukraine about the war, and with France about marital relationships.


'It's easier to share the pain,' said a tired looking diplomat. 'It's such a waste of time. Trump only does it to impress his dimwitted MAGA supporters. So taking turns makes sense - a better use if our resources.


Next in the rota is rumoured to be the Isle of Wight. They're due to start a run in about technology - winding up Trump because the USA doesn't even have Ceefax.'



Image credit: ChatGPT

World 'couldn't give a stuff' about Trump anymore


'I know I should care, he's got the nuclear codes, he's a fruitcake, he's destroying world alliances and it's pretty obvious he's manipulating financial markets for himself and his family,' said the leader of a major European country, 'but honestly, I couldn't give a flying f@ck anymore,' he added.


World leaders have come to realise that kow-towing to the Trump administration doesn't insulate their countries from his erratic herky-jerky mood swings.  Bucking him does result in enormous sanctions on products US citizens want or need to buy, making it harder for them.  For the countries impacted as an exporter it is becoming increasingly obvious that there is a queue of relatively stable countries waiting to take the US share, more if you include the relatively unstable but financially flush countries.  'So, no great shakes there,' said another world leader.


Assassination attempts have been discounted as they would probably trip over fake assassination attempts and someone could get hurt. The wrong person, presumably.  Not the person with the nuclear codes.   


'We can't kill him, but we can ignore him,' said a World leader.  'But I suppose we could release these Epstein files that I found on my desk this morning,' he suggested.




NewsBiscuit Car Review: The F-Rage (Independent supplier)


Just appalling.


This appears to be a one-off vanity project which is more of a concept rather than a practical solution to peoples actual needs. It runs badly, struggles in any condition apart from its own carefully crafted environment where it can do no wrong.


The F-Rage is meant to imply aggression and power but instead looks dated and is clearly a compensation vehicle.


The company itself has changed names several times, which doesn’t exactly scream reliability. The sales splurge made many promises, and it has failed to meet any practically. Some of the internals are purchased through Russian suppliers which should be a massive concern.


As for aesthetics, it is clearly references the older times, unfortunately taking the worst aspects of it. It does get positive reviews from people who believe the publicity and don’t really look at the details and its poor performance, and might do well because of that. It does not meet EU safety and environmental regulations and weirdly takes some sort of pride in not doing so. It would be a nightmare to run in London, more suited to rolling up a gravel drive and belching out filth.


Despite the promises of unbelievable performance, the figures indicate it will be uneconomical and end up breaking apart. Fixing it is practically impossible, it is mainly made up from used, broken scraps that are already past their time.


Because of single bloody mindedness, there will be no European version, the user must be sat to the right no matter how dangerous that may be.


Pros

A great talking point

Easily identifies the gullible

Cons

Rather than separate cons, it is just one big one.

An absolute menace with no redeeming features.


Image: Author's own

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