Parliament to consider permanent switch to Hammer Time

With the clocks going back for Winter, the Government is to conduct an analysis of the costs and benefits of adopting the highly controversial Standard Hammer Time throughout the UK.

The concept of Hammer Time was introduced in the early 1990s by the recording artist MC Hammer on his top-selling ‘Please Hammer – Don’t Hurt ‘Em’. Although highly regarded at the time, its popularity waned after a series of poor-selling follow up albums.

Farmers’ Unions remain vehemently opposed. A spokesman said: ‘Without wanting to diss Hammer Time, many of our members are uneasy about having to tend sheep on dark winter mornings wearing large trousers, raybans and lots of bling. Things right now are tough enough for farmers as it is.’

If the new system is adopted, businesses will be required to provide employees with regular Hammer Time intervals, which are to be spent well away from their workstations in areas where they will be encouraged to ‘break it down’.

Image: Pixabay/natasssssa

Story taken from '15 Years of Typos'

Basic Clocks Startled At Being Forced To Lose An Hour

Inexpensive battery powered clocks all across the land are being startled this morning by being hastily pulled down from their usual vantage point, having their round button which attaches to their delicate hard-working hands wrenched backwards and then being replaced without so much as a dusting or a thank you for your service.

The kitchen clock with a jolly design of vegetables was first to experience this indignity. It hopes the person that twiddled its settings will be inexplicably hungry an hour before dinner this evening. Shiny black and silver sitting room clock which doesn’t even have minute segments was shocked to descend from the usual place and be twisted into the past. It hopes that the sun shines on its glass later, making it unreadable. Spare bedroom clock with the loud tick was the last to be fumbled with. It plans to keep future guests awake with a slightly louder tick than normal until they crack and put it in the wardrobe.

The infrequently worn Casio calculator watch smirking on the sideboard was pleased at having escaped having his buttons mashed and looks forward to causing time based confusion soon. The iPhone which was used as the definitive guide to the correct time enjoyed the tour of the house and congratulated itself on already knowing of the hour to be lived twice.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/stocksnap-894430/

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