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Parliament to consider permanent switch to Hammer Time

With the clocks going back for Winter, the Government is to conduct an analysis of the costs and benefits of adopting the highly controversial Standard Hammer Time throughout the UK.

The concept of Hammer Time was introduced in the early 1990s by the recording artist MC Hammer on his top-selling ‘Please Hammer – Don’t Hurt ‘Em’. Although highly regarded at the time, its popularity waned after a series of poor-selling follow up albums.

Farmers’ Unions remain vehemently opposed. A spokesman said: ‘Without wanting to diss Hammer Time, many of our members are uneasy about having to tend sheep on dark winter mornings wearing large trousers, raybans and lots of bling. Things right now are tough enough for farmers as it is.’

If the new system is adopted, businesses will be required to provide employees with regular Hammer Time intervals, which are to be spent well away from their workstations in areas where they will be encouraged to ‘break it down’.

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