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No. 10's mea culpa to The Palace sparks wave of copycat apologies



Number 10's apology to Buckingham Palace last week has sparked a number of copycat incidents with more buildings now seemingly wanting to make amends for previous transgressions between one another.


A leading expert in building conflict resolution commented: 'It seems there is a lot of repressed sorrow and regret between many buildings and last week's very public apology has set things in train. So far we know of one semidetached bungalow in Carshalton that has taken out an ad in the local paper apologising to the town hall for its jibes on Twitter about the town hall's unkempt toilet facilities.'


And NewsBiscuit understands French and British diplomats are on alert, with rumours rife regarding the possibility of a high-profile controversial apology being issued between Blackpool and Eiffel Towers over longstanding accusations of blatant plagiarism.




First published 19 Jan 2022


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Britain’s royalty now safely back to being a bunch of bores, says Palace


"The royal family have stripped their wayward relative of his titles and exiled him to obscurity in the maddeningly flat fastness of Norfolk," announced a spokes-flunkey for Buckingham Palace.


"And having scuttled for cover by pretending he no longer exists, it is now their dearest wish to return to being a family of dull people with very boring thoughts and pursuits and nothing to say unless it has been written down for them to read out.


"From time to time, mavericks crop up in this venerable, vapid family - such as the Duke of Windsor, Princess Margaret, Diana, Meghan and Harry - who occasionally make for entertaining copy in the newspapers.


"However, the system always finds some way of driving these deviants into the wilderness - or the grave - so that the monarchy can resume its historic role of being Britain's leading set of bland, inoffensive sloths.


"God save the Sloth King, and God help Mr Andrew!"


image from pixabay

Prince Andrew to stand back, again



I have decided to stand back from using certain titles, so henceforth I and the press won't be using 'Randy Andy' anymore. 'His former Royal Highness Randy Andy' is included.


I am also ditching my remaining Royal patronages including Pizza Express. My Royal endorsement for Sure deodorant will remain as a necessity as I have, thankfully,learned how to sweat again.


I will renounce my attendance at Christmas lunch with the King and will be tucking in at the Hungry Horse in Windsor this year, as long as the sponsorship contract arrives.

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