After a series of gaffes, the Home Secretary is to be traded for something more reliable and less likely to break down in public. Arguably an upgrade, a bus can at least be trusted not to call each destination a $hithole.
Every time he opens his mouth there is no sense that he knows where his sentence is going or what route it will take. Complained one passenger: 'I'd thought I'd bought a return ticket to Skegness but instead got re-routed to a weird date-rape anecodate.'
The replacement service will be used indefinitely, while Cleverly is pushed into the political sidings. Explained one bus operator. 'We may take a little longer but at least everyone will get on board with our inappropriate jokes.'
- stewartbarclay
- Aug 28, 2023
Spectators at the Netherlands Formula 1 Grand Prix are in for a surprise as cars have been banned.
When the "drivers" come into the "pits", they can fill up their travel coffee mugs, make sure they have the exact fare and pick up a bus timetable.
F1 safety rules demand that even on a bus, competitors must keep their helmets on. If they sit on the top deck, near the back with the cool kids, they may not play loud music through their radios. They can pick up a free newspaper, but they may not sit in seats reserved for pensioners or parents with buggies and they could also be punished for leaving an umbrella behind.
A local bus driver said 'Talk about back seat drivers, they keep pretending to steer whilst shouting "vroom" or "nyaum". If anyone deserves all that champagne at the end, it's me.'