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Co-op Live: If you build it, they will come, eventually




The Co-op Live venue has revealed details of some of the technical issues behind recent cancellations.


One important issue relates to the positioning of the stage. Architects and engineers are currently trying to work out if the stage is at the wrong end of the arena, or if all of the seats have been installed facing the wrong way.


Other issues include air-conditioning ducts held in place with chewing gum, an electrical system that only works on 110 volts and the fact that all door handles have been fitted backwards.  Some supporting walls have been made from concrete mixed with Coco Pops instead of gravel. When tested, some walls were found to be 28% breakfast cereal. One tired builder was heard to mutter, ‘If only we’d used Weetabix’.


The final insult is a massive neon sign on the roof that should read CO-OP LIVE, but actually appears to say CO-OP EVIL from one side and POOP LIVE from the other.


Photo: Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash

As winter arrives, Britain's trains enter hibernation



Beautiful scenes today, with winter becoming imminent, as the nation's train began their annual journey to hibernation.


As the first frosts of the season begin to bite, the majestic trains sense that now is the time to start their slumber-like inoperability and head for their home sheds. You can almost hear their diesel and electric yawns whilst they slowly shunt towards their well-earned sleep, stopping only to wait for their patient drivers to sweep leaves from the track to save the sensitive rolling stock. We won't see the vast majority of them now until early April when the temperature begins it's uptick and commuters threaten a bloody revolution.


Some of these trains have been being used solidly for more than a month with some even arriving at their destinations on-time on the right day. A incredible feat of great ambition. It's difficult not to be emotional as the train drivers shed a solitary tear as their charges are tucked up, comfortable and warm, moments before turning from them and heading to join yet another picket line.



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