As winter arrives, Britain's trains enter hibernation

Beautiful scenes today, with winter becoming imminent, as the nation's train began their annual journey to hibernation.

As the first frosts of the season begin to bite, the majestic trains sense that now is the time to start their slumber-like inoperability and head for their home sheds. You can almost hear their diesel and electric yawns whilst they slowly shunt towards their well-earned sleep, stopping only to wait for their patient drivers to sweep leaves from the track to save the sensitive rolling stock. We won't see the vast majority of them now until early April when the temperature begins it's uptick and commuters threaten a bloody revolution.

Some of these trains have been being used solidly for more than a month with some even arriving at their destinations on-time on the right day. A incredible feat of great ambition. It's difficult not to be emotional as the train drivers shed a solitary tear as their charges are tucked up, comfortable and warm, moments before turning from them and heading to join yet another picket line.

Image: Bart Christiaanse (@bartchristiaanse) | Unsplash Photo Community

Flight Simulator 2022 : UK Flights Edition to launch

Enjoy the disappointment of your cancelled holiday from your home with the UK Flights edition of the Flight Simulator series. Building on the thrill of not being able to take off or land due to incomplete pilot skills, you can experience the flight simulation from the perspective of simulated passengers - or passengers as most airlines refer to them these days.

You will experience the accurately modelled hours of tedium and frustration felt by thousands as all of your flights are cancelled after a six hour wait, unless you are still using a Pentium in which case you will have this experience on any version of flight simulation.

But wait... even more... buy the expansion pack and experience the excruciating joy of days on hold waiting to make your compensation claim while your simulated baggage is directed on to several other cancelled simulated flights before being crushed by simulated baggage trolleys and sent to a simulated destination you will never see.

Image: https://pixabay.com/users/tobiasrehbein-11751606/

No way to predict passenger numbers say airlines who sold tickets

A spokesman for the airline industry lit a cigar with a £50 note before stubbing it out in the eye of a small child whose summer holiday will now comprise a taxi ride to and from Manchester Airport.

'We cancel families summer holidays at the last moment, then hide and watch as the police inexplicably do our job for us. We knew our staff and plane numbers, so we could have declined the booking – but we didn’t.’

'We've got a few empty planes going to Kigali, or Dover South as the budget airlines are calling it. It's peachy there this time of year unless you criticise their government. If you do, let's just say that airport security are going to 'randomly' search your orifices with something blunt and rusty. Very thoroughly. To death.’

Image: Pixabay/ThePixelMan