The Co-op Live venue has revealed details of some of the technical issues behind recent cancellations.
One important issue relates to the positioning of the stage. Architects and engineers are currently trying to work out if the stage is at the wrong end of the arena, or if all of the seats have been installed facing the wrong way.
Other issues include air-conditioning ducts held in place with chewing gum, an electrical system that only works on 110 volts and the fact that all door handles have been fitted backwards. Some supporting walls have been made from concrete mixed with Coco Pops instead of gravel. When tested, some walls were found to be 28% breakfast cereal. One tired builder was heard to mutter, ‘If only we’d used Weetabix’.
The final insult is a massive neon sign on the roof that should read CO-OP LIVE, but actually appears to say CO-OP EVIL from one side and POOP LIVE from the other.
Photo: Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash