Ted Turner, the media mogul who launched CNN, has died, aged 87.
Ted will be remembered for his fantastic contribution to education through his famous Ted talks and for setting up the well known Turner Prize for artists. He was also the inspiration for the detective, played by Tom Hanks, in the film Turner and Hooch.
Ted is survived by his pop-icon daughter Tina Turner and his brother, British romantic painter JMW Turner.
Image credit: Wix AI
Who doesn’t love a bit of rhyming slang? We love it because it is very British wordplay, it’s how ordinary people talk, not the toffs, and it reminds us of East Enders. Duff, duff, duff…
Well, language is constantly changing, so we asked our intrepid step-daughters (reporters) to suggest some updated rhyming slang. Here’s what they came up with:
Celebs
Oily garage (‘oily’) – Nigel Farage
Oily sump (‘oily’) – Donald Trump
Oily body (‘oily’) – Narendra Modi
Lettuce – Liz Truss (obviously…)
Jeffery Epstein – unclean
Liz Truss – fuss
JD Vance - interpretive dance (eg. ‘Could you explain that using the medium of JD Vance?’)
Nigel Farage – bullshit barage
(Kemi) Badenoch - crock (probably not filled with gold)
Malaise
Robert Jenrick - sick, or taking the mick
Liz Truss – cystitis
Wallace and Gromit - vomit (eg. ‘Look out, don't step in the Wallace’)
Harry Styles - piles
Farmer Giles - piles
Nobby Stiles - piles
Brandreth, Giles – piles. See also Emma Freud.
Train delays
Frisky colt – train fault (eg. ‘Sorry I'm an hour late for work, Northern Rail frisky, innit?:’
Deep sea diver - got no driver
Oak and pine - leaves on the line
Peter Purves - no trolley service
Croydon and Purley - went home early
Stupid Berks - over-running engineering works
Miscellaneous
Snapchat - prat
Underperform - Reform
Mar-a-lago - farago (eg. ‘It were a right mar’)
With contributions from deskpilot, FlashArry, Lockjaw, Walter Eagle, Sirlupus, Sinnick, and Beau-jolly. Well done, team!
Image credit (if any is deserved): perchance.org edited in Wix
The people of Ukraine and Gaza forget all about their suffering - being bombed, shot and/or starved, and being generally f*cked about by Donald Trump and his arse-licking acolytes - in their ecstasy at learning that some singer (?) has become engaged to some footy player.
'My family have all been killed, I've been seriously wounded and my home and all my possessions have been destroyed' said one happy man. 'But hey-ho! Who cares about minor inconveniences like that? I couldn't be happier, knowing that this couple are set for a lifetime - or at least, a week or so - of wedded bliss. I can't stop thinking them all day long, and at night as well, when I am kept awake by the noise of bombing, shelling and gunfire.'
Image credit: deep dream generator
