The people of Ukraine and Gaza forget all about their suffering - being bombed, shot and/or starved, and being generally f*cked about by Donald Trump and his arse-licking acolytes - in their ecstasy at learning that some singer (?) has become engaged to some footy player.
'My family have all been killed, I've been seriously wounded and my home and all my possessions have been destroyed' said one happy man. 'But hey-ho! Who cares about minor inconveniences like that? I couldn't be happier, knowing that this couple are set for a lifetime - or at least, a week or so - of wedded bliss. I can't stop thinking them all day long, and at night as well, when I am kept awake by the noise of bombing, shelling and gunfire.'
Image credit: deep dream generator
Having given politics a brief whirl and collected the 'Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt' tee shirt, Nicola Sturgeon is now considering ways of furthering her career as a celebrity. Her preferred choices appear to be between Celebrity Dancing, Celebrity Cooking and being a Celebrity Scot.
The other principal option, hanging out on an island somewhere with a bunch of randy teenage knuckle-heads did not appeal to her - 'Too much sunshine! We Scots can't cope with that!'
She has decided to take some time out before launching into her new career as a Top Gear presenter, driving that motorhome.
H/T sirlupus