Modern rhyming slang

Who doesn’t love a bit of rhyming slang? We love it because it is very British wordplay, it’s how ordinary people talk, not the toffs, and it reminds us of East Enders. Duff, duff, duff…

Well, language is constantly changing, so we asked our intrepid step-daughters (reporters) to suggest some updated rhyming slang. Here’s what they came up with:

Celebs

Oily garage (‘oily’) – Nigel Farage

Oily sump (‘oily’) – Donald Trump

Oily body (‘oily’) – Narendra Modi

Lettuce – Liz Truss (obviously…)

Jeffery Epstein – unclean

Liz Truss – fuss

JD Vance - interpretive dance (eg. ‘Could you explain that using the medium of JD Vance?’)

Nigel Farage – bullshit barage

(Kemi) Badenoch - crock (probably not filled with gold)

Malaise

Robert Jenrick - sick, or taking the mick

Liz Truss – cystitis

Wallace and Gromit - vomit (eg. ‘Look out, don't step in the Wallace’)

Harry Styles - piles

Farmer Giles - piles

Nobby Stiles - piles

Brandreth, Giles – piles. See also Emma Freud.

Train delays

Frisky colt – train fault (eg. ‘Sorry I'm an hour late for work, Northern Rail frisky, innit?:’

Deep sea diver - got no driver

Oak and pine - leaves on the line

Peter Purves - no trolley service

Croydon and Purley - went home early

Stupid Berks - over-running engineering works

Miscellaneous

Snapchat - prat

Underperform - Reform 

Mar-a-lago - farago (eg. ‘It were a right mar’)

With contributions from deskpilot, FlashArry, Lockjaw, Walter Eagle, Sirlupus, Sinnick, and Beau-jolly. Well done, team!

Image credit (if any is deserved): perchance.org edited in Wix