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Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month July 2026





Another tremendous month with a decent scramble for top slot, easily gleaned by Deskpilot. We've seen a lot of new writers this month and a few old ones returning, which is great to see.


As usual, below the leaderboard is the cartoon of the month followed by every headline published this month - there's 103 in case anyone wondered.




Front Page, News in Brief and Features


apepper





Arborio Mulling




Chipchase



Chrisf





cliveosman







Deskpilot












Dominic_mcg




eppursimuove




Fernandomando








Gerontius



hokeyloci



jeremynh











Lockjaw




MartinH



Matilda



Midfield Diamond



Modelmaker



Newsbiscuit Editorial Team



Robowurzel



rogt









Sarah Tipper



Scribbles





stewartbarclay





Sully







Throngsman










Titus



Walter Eagle



Wrenfoe








Cartoonists published this month include:


billclay, Deskpilot, Lockjaw, Modelmaker and urbanhermit



Headlines


adrian bamford      

    

Blakey from On the Buses to be new Minister of Transport

Bordeaux 2026 wines to have a smokey taste

Burnham asks new cabinet: 'does anyone have any ideas?'

Burnham cuts cost of throwing Starmer under a bus


bigbadbob     


Goodies: Goody Goody gone gone


cliveosman    


England decide to try the 11 lions tactic for a change

Ref sends blind twin to France v Paraguay match for a laugh

Trump flies to Australia 'To visit Hitler's birthplace'

Who is Mal Vinas, and will he make the starting XI in the final?


Deskpilot   

    

Andy Burnham adopts Keir Starmer's 'difficult decisions' catchphrase

Andy Burnham reveals plan for his first 100 minutes as PM

Andy Burnham's favourite music? Drill

Buyer of world's most expensive dinosaur calls it Nigel

Crowds brave heatwave to see the absence of Meghan

Diane Abbott back in the Labour party to make up the numbers

Disappointment as Russian warship fails to hit Plymouth

Farage to spend £5m on by-election campaign

Haard luck, Norway

Harry wanted Royal Lodge, but gets Travelodge

I've just bought a wrecking ball at a knock down price

Laxative addict thinks he has Assperger's syndrome

Organised Crime distances itself from Reform

Trump celebrates as oil hits $100 a barrel again

US accuses Canada of blowing smoke

Well, there goes your bank holiday


dominic_mcg 


Guillotine T-shirt scandal: heads will roll

Incarcerated undertaker admits to grave mistakes

Keegan crosses

Plucky Brit underdog turns out to be French after all

Ryanair sucks!


hokeyloki        


Champion fur trapper has skin in the game

Quick Divorce to follow Swift Wedding?

Story about Saltburn cricket cheats dismissed as clickbait


ian searle 

      

Labour seek cap on political donations, Reform seek to pocket them


Lockjaw    

      

Man has replanted his garden. There was no fuchsia in it

Man who stole faulty jacuzzi now in hot water

Origami specialists called in to repair paper factory damaged in Japan earthquake


Matilda    

        

Battery terminal supplier able to make a positive contribution to the high street

Man in boring job improves as he gets to know the drill

Nostalga, it's not what it used to be

Tate brothers to be imprisoned in Rothko room in their gallery to add to sentence misery

The Story of Moving the Bayeux Tapestry to be Made Into a Tapestry

Water companies to go into liquidation


mcdabble     

 

'Ann shudda taken the £5M', says Reform insider

BBC to be funded by sales of class A drugs, says report

Count Binface a real threat to Farage in coming election, say experts

FIFA's investigation into Argentina unfurling a banner finds that a banner was unfurled by Argentina

Football to be floated on Footsy

Russian petrol now contains more than 50% vodka

Starmer asks if its too late to do a U-turn on late pub opening

Tate Meets Fate

Trump's wealth going up now he's not managing it personally


Modelmaker  


Bookies predict Binface to win by a landfill

Postmen strike after being told to deliver Burnham’s policies to every postcode in the land


pleroy 


Pride month flotilla blocked by Straits of Hormuz


robfalconer   


Wife who fell down wishing-well now recovering in Well Woman Clinic


rowly  


Clacton Voters remain Confused over true identity of Andy Binman

Wimbledon Final could end up in Court


scribbles    

    

Amputee who wore out 6 prosthetic limbs on a charity walk is on his last legs

Artist who drew 2 naked women denies rubbing one out

Barber often gives annoying customers a clip round the ear

Burnham to feed 5000 with 5 loaves & 2 fishes, and turn water into wine

Chef plays down kitchen fire as just a flash in the pan

Coal miner says his job is the pits

Experts say the Bayeaux Tapestry is inaccurate, as the facts were embroidered

Farmer says his broken milking machine is an udder failure

Footballer complains of sexual assault, after manager pulls him off early

Leopard playing hide and seek is spotted

Man crosses a Bulldog with a Shih Tzu. The Kennel Club call it Bull-Sh!t

Man found talking to a hedge says he was having a privet conversation

Man suffering from nocturnal urination often awake in the wee hours

Man who combined laxatives with laughing gas said he did it for sh!ts and giggles

Man who couldn’t sleep after taking Viagra says he was up all night

New video sharing platform for stupid people is launched – Thick Tok

Playground attendant likes some bits of his job more than others. Swings & roundabouts

Sacked trainee hairdresser is told she didn’t make the cut

Shoplifter with soap in her bra wanted to make a clean breast of it

Short-sighted worker sacked for not focusing on the job

Short-sighted worker sacked for not focusing on the job

Stupid comedian drives a sports car. The jokes come thick and fast

Towel manufacturer says his business is drying up


sir lupus  

        

Showbiz wedding? That don't impress me much


sketchly   

       

Suffolk firefighters fined for ignoring hosepipe ban


steveB 


Reform Clacton campaign leaflets delivered pre-torn-up


Throngsman 

 

Iran offers to sell US missiles 'to help them out'

London's financial centre under cyber attack. Your Capital may be at risk

Suspension after red card now just advisory


Titus   


Burnham clapped in - Starmer clapped-out

Clacton to build special dedicated full-time polling stations, ready for future weekly by-elections

Clacton voters may prefer non-Binnery candidate

Government to achieve 5% of GDP spend on defence by reducing GDP

Infantino dismisses finance row as 'storm in a football cup'

Labour changes team captain at 1/2 time. Will they need a hydration break next year?

Mexico city altitude 7350 feet. England will need to up their game

Trump declares hydration break in Iran war


tonymc    

        

It's part of Brits culture to fight on planes insists Farage

Trump blames Biden as USA exit World Cup

Trump insists Bone Spurs kept him out of US soccer team

Under Reform there will be no free handouts say Farage

US pirates demanding money from world shipping

Widdecombe wants Ruth Ellis exhumed and hanged again

Winners in new NHS marathons may earn GP appointment


urbanhermit  


Angela Rayner rules out acting with integrity after returning to Cabinet



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